Today is my 48th birthday. I love birthdays; they are our own personal holidays, days we aren't obliged to share with anyone. 24 blissful hours in which the world does, indeed, revolve around just one person. Today, that person is ME!
My first memorable birthday was #6; my parents had a huge party for all the neighborhood kids, for family and for friends, in our garage on Redwood Avenue in Milpitas. They hired Coco the clown (I think that was his name!), and even though I have a lifetime aversion to clowns, he was nice and paid all kinds of attention to me. My parents have one picture in which all attendees are standing around Coco, who is holding me in his lap, and there I am with a huge smile on my mature, six-year-old face. Part of the reason for the huge smile is the fact that my younger sister is crying because she isn't sitting on Coco's lap.
Mom and Dad had four kids, and my Day was, chronologially, the last one in the year, so there weren't many memorable birthdays after that. Ten years fly by without much detail, but on my 16th birthday my parents threw a surprise party for me at a local bowling alley (I was on a bowling league.... whatever happened to that trophy? Hmmmm...) and although the number of attendees was markedly smaller, it was nice. I also got a beautiful fire opal ring from my parents (which I lost two years later at a Taco Bell in Roseville). I remember my 30th Day, when Mom and Dad drove north just for my day and gave me a lovely Mikasa fruit bowl and serving platter, blush pink and the glass forming swirls of flowers. I use it all the time.
I realized on that day that I'd not been making the best use of my personal holiday, so I changed the rules. I'd always made a huge deal over Lyndie's and Brendan's birthdays, but why was I shortchanging myself? I started expecting (and asking for) a little more from my children and from Derek. Over the last 15 years, we've developed these simple rules for MY birthday (these are just family rules; I don't expect the entire world to comply):
1. I don't just get the day, I deserve an entire month of being first in line, receiving courtesies, getting a little extra attention; sometime around birthday #40 we started celebrating Kerri/Mom/Mimi Month, which is the entire month of MAY. If we go out to dinner in May, Derek buys. If I want a drink of water but am too lazy to walk downstairs and get it, Derek gets it for me. If Derek goes to the store, he has to bring me back a treat. If there is any argument, a simple reminder of whose month it is will set things straight. If a grandchild is ever born in my month, I will (graciously) share. But only for a grandchild.
2. I expect a quality gift and a quality meal at a restaurant for my birthday. By "quality gift", I mean one I have physically picked out and shown Derek where to purchase. Left to his own devices, I shudder in horror at the possibilities. Probably a bowling ball with 'Homer' engraved into it. By "quality meal", I mean a restaurant of my choosing.
3. I expect attention from my children (and grandchildren), in the form of a party, a family dinner, or a reasonable facsimile of either. Believe me, I fawn all over them on their Days, so they aren't giving up anything. I'm all about reciprocity. I think it's especially good for Noah and Joshua to see adults getting all the attention once in awhile so they don't end up like me on their 6th birthday, grinning in malice because a sibling isn't getting any of the attention. They need to learn to share and that others have to come first at times, and it's much better to learn this when you're young. There is a good spiritual lesson in putting others first, and they might as well learn it on my birthday. I already know how to share, so this does not apply to me in the month of May.
4. Gifts are more fun when financial times are rough. That's why I love getting gifts from my children; they are going to be creative because they are young and struggling, and can't afford to buy something nice, so they have to either make it or hunt for it. This year, Bren's gift to me was the big family dinner (see #3), at Olive Garden Saturday night. He couldn't afford both, so instead of a gift he bought me an obnoxious card which wished me a happy 50th birthday. (I am 48 today.) I'm excited to see what Lyndie and the boys bring me today!
5. I DO NOT WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY. This is a new addition; I decided two years ago that I'd worked my last May 16. If you have the option, take your birthday off. No one should expect the Queen (or the King) to work on her/his birthday, and neither should you on the day you are the Queen/King.
So far it's been a great May. I'll post pictures of all my birthday gifts (and the Mother's Day gifts) later, maybe tonight. Happy May 16th, everyone! It's a great day to be born!
